ASK YOUR DATING COACH

Love, Dating, Relationships

Hi Lucie,

I would like to know your opinion on pick-up lines. There is so much information on the internet, but I really want to know if it works. Thank you for your response.

~ Jeff


Hi Jeff,

Thank you for your question, and yes, you are right that there's a lot of opinions on the internet about pick up lines. But honestly, there is nothing sexier than connecting with women as your authentic self. Just approaching her with an agenda and some pre-selected pick-up lines will never be as good. From my experience as a coach, when my clients tried to pick up lines on women, most of the time they didn’t know how to follow up, they choked because they were not using their own words, or the women rolled their eyes as they saw through their intentions. However, I do believe that there are some women out there that might like it or find pick-up lines funny or endearing; it really depends on how you use them. But if you work on building your confidence, you can become a person who is really comfortable with engaging with women and won't need to rely on pick-up lines ever again.

Love Lucie

Hi Lucie,
I recently got divorced, and after 20 years of marriage, I’m back on the dating scene. I find it very draining and disappointing to meet with so many men without any results. How do I make this process more exciting?

~ Heidi


Hi Heidi,

I know it is really hard to go back to dating when you had one person in your life for so long. Bringing excitement to dating can be challenging, but I recommend trying to alter your focus. Instead of making your end goal “we will become a couple,” try approaching each date with only the goal of “we will have a good time.” This will ease your feelings of disappointment because you won’t get hurt by high expectations and you will focus on just having fun. Also, genuinely ask yourself, do I look at the person in front of me with curious eyes? Every person has an exciting story to tell, and even if the date ends without deeper romantic feelings, maybe you can make a new and interesting friend.

Love Lucie

Hi Lucie,

When should I text after a good date? Should I wait a couple of days or is it ok to text right away? I read that I should be waiting three days before showing interest in someone. What is your opinion?

~ S.H.

I know there is a lot of information on the internet about texting or calling after a date. Many people think being mysterious or not responding for a couple of days will increase the interest of the other person. However, I believe that if you are both excited about each other, why wait to get in touch? There is nothing wrong with just letting your date know that you had a good time. But of course, each person is different and there can be many scenarios when it comes to texting or calling after a date. If you would like to get more detailed information, please send an email to lucie@luvidya.com

Love Lucie

How can I tell if she likes me?
~ Alex

This can depend on how long you’ve known this person. Is she a close friend or someone you’ve just met? But here some things I would like you to observe. When she talks to you, is she fully present with you? Is she smiling? Is she flirting or teasing you? Does she try to gently touch your body? Women express interest in many ways, and sometimes it might feel confusing. However, the only way you can be 100% sure is to ask her on a date 😉 Good luck and after she says yes, send me a photo of you two. Love Lucie

Hi Lucie,
I recently met a guy, and we had a good time together! I was living the dream. In the beginning, he was very caring and called me often. We got to know each other really fast, and we started to text each other every day. I planned many exciting events for us to enjoy together, and I was very supportive of this time. But a month later, his excitement started to decrease. We had a scheduled date on Saturday, and on Thursday I got a message from him stating that he needs space. I didn’t understand what was going on and just wanted some answers, so on Saturday I drove to see him and texted him to meet. We met, and he was great. I’m very confused. Does he want a relationship with me?
~ Donna

Dear Donna,
Thank you for your message, and I understand your struggle! Going from big excitement to zero attention is hard. I would like to ask you, did you give your partner a chance to put in some effort, or was it always you putting effort into texting and making plans? Did you become the initiator of your conversations? Did he have space to connect with you? Those are really important questions because if you were the only one running the entire relationship, he might feel that he is not really in it. After all, he doesn’t need to work for a relationship that has just been dropped into his lap.

Many people get excited at the beginning of a relationship, and it is very normal to feel a little giddy about a person you are creating something new with. But that excitement can lead people to move too quickly, which might be overwhelming to some. And once that newness begins to fade, you may feel frustrated if he isn't reaching out to you or connecting with you in the way you want. He may be inundated by all the focus and attention you've been giving him, and that could be causing him to emotionally tire out early.

You have asked if he wants a relationship with you. From what you have shared, it looks like he is happy to see you, but he also might be in a position where is just passively accepting your attention rather than actively participating in a relationship. My advice to you is to slow down, start focusing on yourself, and see if he can reconnect with you. He needs the opportunity to give the attention you are looking for and be the one in pursuit. But you should also be prepared for the chance that he might just move on if he has already become checked out. In either case, step back a little and allow him to give you your answer. Love Lucie

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