It started as a joke about allowing my friend to set up a Tinder date for me, but then after giving it more thought… why not? Maybe I’m choosing the wrong men and someone else might have better judgment than I do. I put my life into the hands of my gay friend! My friend chose my pictures (I disagreed with his choices but I tried to stay open-minded) and he went on a swiping mission.
One hour later, my Tinder account exploded with matches. I was scared that this experiment was going to be a disaster but looking at all my new matches, I had to wonder, “Am I too picky?” My friend had found me more matches in that hour than I could ever find on my own. Should I be more open-minded?
My friend sent all my new matches the same message: “What’s up?” I usually craft a careful first message to test how witty the other person is, but he just jumped in with “what’s up”! It didn’t sound smart and it didn’t sound like me! I had to call him out on it. He told me I was being a control freak and that I needed to relax. It was hard, but he was right; I needed to stop butting in and let him take full control over my dating profile. After all, I agreed to do this.
My phone didn’t stop buzzing all day, and I was very curious, so I decided to take peek. I opened my Tinder to read the texts. My friend was messaging one guy in particular—someone who clearly hit the gym a lot and had a ton of shirtless pics on his profile to prove it. He wasn’t my usual type and I rolled eyes. My friend: “Do you have better pictures of your muscles?” Oh no, this was dating suicide, why did I agree to do this? All I could do was pray this guy wouldn’t blow up my phone with naked pictures. “Please, be a gentleman and have some standards!
My friend: “Are you a personal trainer? I love a strong man! I have a gay friend who is looking for a personal trainer. Would you be willing to help him?” Wait, was he looking for a match for me or a trainer for himself? I had to laugh about it, but I couldn’t stop thinking—please, just please don’t set me up on a tinder date with this guy!
My friend continued to message similar shirtless men but told me that I shouldn’t worried: he would pick the right guy for me. I wasn’t buying it. My profile looked like an advertisement for the hot guys of Tinder! But what about some substance? I needed an intellectual who could keep up a conversation, who would enjoy my company and want to explore the world… not some shallow connection! Did my friend even know what I was looking for?
Although it was hard, I decided not to interfere with this process. A week later, I was set up on a tinder date. I was dreading the moment one of those shirtless guys was going to walk through the door. But to my surprise, a very nice man showed up! We had a great conversation and a good laugh about the experience as I told him the whole story about who was behind my profile and this Tinder date. He was a good sport and was very open-minded!
Some of the choices surprised me, but he was right when he said that I needed to relax and trust him. There are a few things that I’ve learned through this experience: I am sometimes too selective and should be more open-minded when it comes to potential matches. I’m still sure that I don’t want any of the shirtless guys my friend seems to like, but I should be more willing to meet people instead of putting them through all sorts of tests first. I shouldn’t take myself too seriously, and most importantly, I should have some fun with the dating process.
P.S.: My apologies to all the men who blindly participated in this process. Our intentions were coming from a good place.