How to deal with emotional pain from a break up

Break up is hard, we’ve all been there.  The pain is real and equivalent to physical pain. You hurt in places you didn’t even know could feel pain, you can’t focus on anything, and you have a hard time even mustering up a smile. You might feel angry, sad, frustrated, or completely empty. The pain is real, but how do you deal with it?

First, take a deep breath, and I mean it literally.

Lots of people stop breathing when they feel anxious and are in pain. It’s important to let your body know that you are okay by taking a deep breath. Try to count to 3 on an inhale and count to 3-5 when you exhale. This is a natural signal to your body that you are not in danger and everything will be just fine. Use it anytime, anywhere and anyplace, it will help you to go through your day easier.

Focus on the good qualities you have.

Many people start blaming themselves for the break-up and what they could have done differently, creating more suffering for themselves. These negative thoughts are feeding your pain and making more a stressful environment for you. Instead, consider all the positive things about you. Try making a list of qualities that you are proud of, qualities that make you unique.

Share your pain.

Keeping things bottled up leads to even greater pain in the long run. Talk about how you’re feeling with a friend or family member, write in a journal or both. As you share your pain with others, it will begin to lessen and feel less overwhelming, until one day it won’t be there at all. Getting over a break-up doesn’t happen overnight, but it’s a good step to take in your healing process. Create your safety zone and surround yourself with people who care for you.

Focus on something that makes you happy.

Have you always wanted to visit Antelope Canyon, New York City, the Eiffel Tower? Now is the time! Plan a fantastic trip and leave your worries behind. Or find a new hobby, like photography, reading, or painting. Take a cooking class, learn a new language, or take up a musical instrument. There are countless exciting opportunities in the world. Focusing on an exciting new adventure will relieve stress and take your mind off your break-up.

Move your body.

Yoga, dancing, or hiking—which one speaks to you? When you move your body, you release endorphins that will make you feel good. Exercise can make a big difference in the way you feel.

Sometimes people come into our lives, and sometimes they leave. Hang in there: feelings take time to process, but it definitely will get better. I promise.

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