What does it mean to be emotionally unavailable?

People often say, you are emotionally unavailable but what does it mean to be emotionally unavailable? And most importantly, what can you do to provide your partner and people around you the emotional availability that they need from you? 

Being emotionally unavailable means that you don’t let your emotions out, or you aren’t able to connect with others emotionally. This can look different for everyone; some might be closed off and not want to open up, while others might create a busy lifestyle with other things to make time for developing emotional relationships. But the outcome is always the same: being emotionally unavailable means missing out on those deep, meaningful connections with others and others missing connection with you. 

What does it mean to be emotionally unavailable?

It implies that loved ones are unable to get closer and connect with you.

Lacking emotional support can leave you feeling alone and unsupported.

Feeling exhausted or not wanting to burden others with emotions might sound familiar to you.

Questions about feelings are uncomfortable

When it comes to uncomfortable situations, you will do just about anything to avoid them. You might try to change the subject, throw in a joke, get defensive, get mad, leave the room, or refuse to answer. Whatever your coping mechanism, it’s clear you’ll do anything to avoid them!

You are busy

Create an environment that allows you to fully immerse yourself in your work, hobbies, and activities, so you can avoid confronting difficult emotions. Become the master of your own emotions when you establish control in that space.

No physical contact

The bedroom can become a vulnerable space where physical contact with your partner feels like too much. This can lead you to distance yourself, giving very little or nothing at all.


Your partner desires your presence and affection, but you struggle to commit. The weight of words like “I love you” leads to a cycle of jumping from one relationship to another.


It can be tough listening to the feelings of others since they may expect the same from you. Connecting with someone else’s emotions reminds you of your pain, which is why it’s a challenge for you.

Congratulations on finding answers about what it means to be emotionally unavailable! Now, let’s take the next step together and work on ways to transform and find loving relationships again. Here are some tips to get started.

  1. Acknowledge your desire for change and take small, but decisive steps to make it happen
  2. Let yourself feel the pain
  3. Find someone trustworthy with whom you can share your thoughts and feelings
  4. Allow time and space for those who are emotionally receptive.
  5. Connect with experts for the assistance you need.