How can one lose dating confidence?
Actually, it’s very easy to do because confidence connects to our feelings, and most of the time we lose confidence before we even know what the word confidence is. Our childhood plays an important role in who we are and what we think about ourselves as adults. As a result, we take what we gathered about confidence as kids, learn how to live with it, and we bring it to adulthood, to our work, to our friendships, to our dating lives. Consequently, we might feel trapped when it comes to our own dating confidence. Here are common areas that people don’t feel very confident when it comes to dating and how to improve it:
Shame and guilt are words that I hear often from my clients when it comes to their bodies. Finding confidence in your body can be challenging. However, going about your life and especially going on dates with this negative energy is a self-sabotaging process. Remember that you control your body, and if there is something you feel that you want to work on, take action. Here are a few words and steps from Dr. Nona Djavid, the Clinical Director of Soul Scale: “When you feel confident in yourself, you have the power to achieve anything. But sometimes, gaining that dating confidence is a hard process. Here are a few steps to take towards reaching your body goals: Have a positive attitude and have positive self-talk; Learn about your body (Find out how your body reacts best to certain workouts and diets.); Once you find a workout/diet routine that works for you, stick to it! Hold yourself accountable.”
“People want to date only pretty people.” This is not a true statement! Many people are actually looking for love, connection, and the way you make them feel. However, if you take care of yourself, it might open more doors for you. Looking your best when dating will increase your confidence and the way you feel about yourself. When you leave the house, make sure you look in the mirror and give yourself a compliment about how amazing you look today. Being kind and gentle to yourself will slowly build up your confidence. If you feel it, others will respond to your energy.
“I get nervous when I have to talk with someone who is attractive.” Even confident people get nervous! But with practice, things get easier. Here are some important things to remember: Don’t forget to breathe; they are most likely as nervous as you are. Don’t put pressure on yourself by thinking that you have to accomplish something. Focus on just having a good conversation. Confidence is like a muscle; if you want to make it stronger, you have to exercise it.
If dating and relationships are an area of your life that you'd like support in, feel free to contact me to inquire about my dating and matchmaking services.