I have to admit that even as a dating coach, I made the same mistakes as you have and continue to do. In fact, I used to have emotional investment too early in relationships because I wanted to feel loved, even when I recognized all the red flags flashing in front of my face. I understand how hard it is, and with every relationship, I promised myself not to repeat the same mistake. But then I would get carried away, and all because I hoped that the person had genuine intentions as I did. I was burned a lot of times, but I learned valuable lessons that I would love to share with you:
These are the most common signs that you should watch for:
She/he is not finding time to spend time with you
She/he may also make a lot of excuses why you can’t see one another. Sometimes the excuses might seem legit, but the reality is if the person really wants you in their life, she/he will make time no matter what. It is simply a matter of preferences
He/she will not make any effort to see you at your convenience.
This essentially means that the person will always ask you to come to their place. The effort in seeing you will be very low and without any excitement. It might sound like a super exciting moment for you, but truly, you are just filling up space on their calendar. There is clearly uneven level of investment on the emotional sense.
When someone makes a list of things/qualities as to why you should not be together
In their head, you are not the one, and he/she just makes excuses as to why you should not be together and you have no power to control it.
Do not invest before you have a talk about a committed relationship.
The person has no obligation to report to you anything concerning what she/he is doing in their free time. You are the one who hopes and has ideas about what it should all be about, but the reality is different. Not everyone is the same as you are, that is, faithful and hoping for a long lasting relationship. Your expectations make you invest too early and ultimately cause a broken heart.
- He/she will never introduce you to their friends and family
There could be many reasons why he/she hasn’t introduced you to his/her loved ones yet. But be perceptive. If he is not emotionally committed, the reason may be because you are not important to him/her. Find out the reason. Maybe he/she has introduced someone else. Look for signs and take a reality check. It is possible that you are not the one being presented to close friends.
She/he will never make future plans with you
Even though you might try to talk about a wonderful vacation or places to visit, you are always turned down with excuses and never see those places.
The emotional investment comes with expectations that one-day things will change and he/she will invest into the relationship as much as you do. Unfortunately, this is an illusion that you created with your own expectations, and if you see those red flags, do not emotionally invest. Take a step aside and focus on what is important: YOU!
If dating and relationships are an area of your life that you'd like support in, feel free to contact me to inquire about my dating and matchmaking services.