When to know they are not invested? I have to admit that even as a dating coach, I made the same mistakes as you have and continue to do. In fact, I used to have emotional investment too early in relationships because I wanted to feel loved, even when I recognized all the red flags flashing in front of my face. I understand how hard it is and would love to share with you some hard lessons:
These are the most common signs that you should watch for:
Scheduling time always feels like hard work
She/he may also make a lot of excuses why you can’t see one another. Sometimes the excuses might seem legit, but the reality is if the person really wants you in their life, she/he will make time no matter what. It is simply a matter of preferences make any effort to see you at your convenience.
This essentially means that the person will always ask you to come to their place. The effort in seeing you will be very low and without any excitement. It might sound like a super exciting moment for you, but truly, you are just filling up space on their calendar. Time together should be fun.
Have a talk about a committed relationship.
The person has no obligation to report to you anything concerning what she/he is doing in their free time. You are the one who hopes and has ideas about what it should all be about, but the reality is different. Not everyone is the same as you are, that is, faithful and hoping for a long lasting relationship. Your expectations make you invest too early and ultimately cause a broken heart.
Won’t introduce you to their friends and family
There could be many reasons why he/she hasn’t introduced you to his/her loved ones yet. But be perceptive. If he is not emotionally committed, the reason may be because they are not invested into the relationship. Find out the reason. Maybe he/she has introduced someone else. Look for signs and take a reality check. That said, you are not the one being presented to close friends.
Not invested in making future plans with you
You try to talk about a wonderful vacation or places to visit, but you are always turned down with excuses.
The emotional investment comes with expectations that one-day things will change and he/she will invest into the relationship as much as you do. Unfortunately, this is an illusion that you created with your own expectations. Not invested means that they won’t make you priority. Not invested means that the more you try, the more you will feel frustrated.
Time to find a partner that will invest in you.
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