The Chasing Game vs. Playing Hard to Get (for men)

This is an excerpt from a letter I received from one of you about chasing game:

“I don’t chase after women. If she runs away and acts like I’m not worth her time, it makes me feel like I have to do so much extra work to prove myself…

The ones I chased in the past played me for a fool. So now I say no thank you. Next. If she’s playing this game, I don’t want to play along.

Flirting is one thing, but making me chase her like this is another level.  I always initiate the communication. She is often not available for dates.  She would even play me against other men… I’ve never met a woman worth that kind of effort, and it almost always ends badly.”

So what’s the difference between a woman who’s playing the chasing game and one who’s hard to get? When should you push forward and when should you drop it?

Many women will play hard to get to see if a man is going to put effort into getting to know them and is not just interested in sleeping with them. They want to see if you are the best man for them and if you are worth their effort.

Let’s look at closer at the difference between being hard to get and playing games.


She makes excuses for why she can’t see you. You will feel like you are spinning a wheel when you are trying to make a plan. You might have plans with her, only for her to cancel last minute. She acts as though she always has something more important to do than to see you. Of course, sometimes life happens, but if it seems like she’s always too busy to make time for you. That said, you are not playing an important role in her life and you are wasting your own energy.

Phone Calls

She never returns your phone calls. If she constantly say, “I’m sorry, my phone just died,” she just might not be into you. A woman who cares for you will make an effort to initiate contact and return your calls.  If she never charges her phone and keeps you waiting for days, she is not the person you should focus on.


Look the the way she responds to you over all. Sometimes actins are lauder then words. You deserve a woman who will be as excited as you are about the relationship you are building.
Bur remember she might be a busy professional – planned your dates ahead.

Chasing Game – Focus

She always focuses on you when you’re on a date. When you’re out together, it’s like  you’re the only two people in the whole room. She’s attentive: she asks questions, she makes eye contact, and she keeps her phone in her purse. She shows that  she genuinely wants to get to know you and has an interest in spending time with you. You will always feel good in her company because even though she’s hard to get, she shows that she’s happy to be with you.

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