Dating and Relationships: Four Steps of Attraction

matchmaker's dating database

These 4 simple steps to increase attraction will help you match with better suited dates and build a more meaningful dating life

1. YOU

Show your worth through confidence, healthy lifestyle, social skills; humor, wealth and social status.

Confidence is very important because it shows your natural energy. One of the ways to raise your confidence is by valuing yourself and recognizing know who you are. Allow yourself to be confident; it will naturally show and people will feel good around you.

Pay attention to your healthy lifestyle; people taking really good care of themselves is a virtue and if you are attracted to A healthy person, you have to be healthy yourself. Apply a golden rule: ‘I will attract the same as I’m offering.’

Social skills and humor allow the other person to feel safe around you.

By wealth, I mean show that you are able to support yourself and that you won’t financially depend on anyone. This point is usually misunderstood when lot of men think that they need to have A lot of money in the bank. It is important that you have A job and show independence, but it is not about the number on your bank statement. Lastly, your social status earned by your achievements and social circles but don’t overthink this; try and finish school, have a decent circle of good friends and your daily activities will naturally determine your social status.


Allow her/him to show you what they have to offer to you. It is not only about looks. Treat everyone with respect and show appreciation so she/he can give the back the same to you. Observe how your dates behave, how they treat people around you, if they smile when they talk to you, if they are funny, and if they show appreciation, or if they simply pay attention to their phone.


Trust is important in any relationship and one has to find common ground. Show how the other partner can rely on you, keep your promises and always be honest. Find common interests or experiences that you two can talk about. You can support anyone by listening and be open minded when the other person speaks. Show that you listen by asking good open ended questions related to what they are talking about. Plus if you find a common ground, the conversation will just go easier on both sides. You both will feel naturally connected to each other because you share the same experience.


Escalate to make sure the other person knows that you are interested and find him/her sexually attractive. A lot of people do make a mistake and avoid this step while dating.

For Men: Ask her if you can see her next time, allow A few minutes of silence and look into her eyes with a smile, gently touch her in an appropriate manner, flirt with her, and most importantly keep it fun.

For Women: when he expresses an interest, be nice, smile and respond warmly. Allow him to feel good in your company so that he would love to see you again.

Remember the key to attraction and “chemistry” is appropriate, friendly flirtation to highlight of the conversation.

Find own personal key. 

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