The Relationship Happiness Myth

Happiness Myth Introduction: Right from the time when we were kids, we would fantasize about our futures and how bright they would be. We would utilize the power of our young, wild imaginations, which had no barriers, to dream of a perfect life— a life with a stunningly beautiful partner, adorable kids, tremendous career achievements, and perfect houses and fast cars.

When we become adults, we become painfully and acutely aware of reality and what life is. The limitations imposed upon us by our beliefs, our friends, family and society begin to dawn on us. We eventually come to see that life is not as we imagined. The future we dreamt of is not manifesting because of so many limitations. Slowly and gradually, as we face one roadblock after another, the joy within us begins to fade.

Consequently, we start unconsciously seeking these things to fill up the emptiness in our hearts. Because after all this time, we have conditioned ourselves to believe that happiness is to be found in possessing certain material things or being in certain relationships.

We start to believe that happiness is hidden in those events, but the expectation that we will miraculously become happy when we reach certain life goals is a false promise. This strong expectation can sometimes limit our happiness and personal growth.

Happiness myth…

We can’t always carry the feeling of being happy because life is not always about those experiences. We have different feelings that we need to process every day. It is important to just appreciate what life has to offer you. The feeling of being satisfied with your own life is vital because it puts us in the right mental state to pursue our ambitions, personal growth, and goals, which are reflected in our relationships. Satisfied people see life in a positive light and have an affectionate touch because they know how to share what they love and care for. They bring positive energy into everything they do and in so doing spread happiness in the world.

Happiness can be found in many acts, connections, and situations, but feeling good about oneself is far more valuable. Therefore, to find a strong relationship, each person must first accept themselves and grow as an individual. Many people remain living in the dark because they are looking for external satisfaction and hold onto the belief that something from the outside must make them happy. They do not realize that such a power must first come from within. Below are some of the happiness myths that lead people astray in their various “ships.” Keep reading to see every one of these myths debunked.

1. Happiness Myth: Conditional Happiness – “Only being in a relationship will make me happy. I can’t enjoy happiness because I’m alone.”

Most people go into a relationship expecting to be happy when they find the right partner. They put so much stock in finding a relationship that they lose themselves and very often attract the wrong sort of partner. It is important to find a fulfilling connection with ourselves first and always ask, “What will this person bring to my life to enhance it and make it better?” Jumping into a relationship from a place of neediness and insecurity will not improve your life. A relationship won’t make you happy; a relationship is a connection that needs to be maintained by two loving people who understand themselves.

2. Happiness Myth: Waiting for Happiness in The Future – “I will be happy when I get or achieve a certain thing in a relationship.”

Many times, people remain unhappy because they are seeking happiness from certain expectations in the future. Such people have their minds fixed on future events, such as marriage, buying a house, having a baby, etc. This sort of mindset is holding them back because after achieving such goals or acquiring such possessions, they find out that these things only offer a temporary feeling of happiness. When this feeling of happiness begins to wane, they seek more things to feel happy again. This marks the beginning of an endless pursuit of a longing that can never be fulfilled. Staying present and understanding the power of a moment is more valuable and brings more satisfaction to your life. Without obsessing over the future, strive to enjoy the present.

3. Happiness Myth: “If it is meant to be, it will work out.”

We all want to feel that our relationships are easy, happy, and have a certain flow. However, relationships are like canoeing: sometimes the current is smooth and carries you along, and sometimes you need to paddle hard and make it through rough waters. You need to put the effort and make sure your canoe won’t tip over, and if it does you jump back in and start paddling again. It takes two people to create a strong relationship that both parties cherish and care for. Without that dedication and work your relationship won’t grow.

What you should remember

♥. A Relationship Doesn’t Define Your Happiness – It is essential to have an astute understanding of the fact that being in a relationship does not equate to happiness.

♥. Don’t Wait to Be Happy – Appreciate Every Moment You Live; Be in the Present! – Happiness is a thing of the present, not of the past or the future. Don’t wait till you’re rich, or till you have a partner or get married to become satisfied.

♥. Work as a Team – Relationships don’t come for free, but teamwork makes it easier to create a loving and supportive connection.

♥. Set Reasonable and Achievable Goals – Sometimes the reason we feel unhappy is because we set very high and unrealistic goals for ourselves. The remedy to this is to take baby steps and to understand that small wins lead to massive success.

♥. Share Your Happiness with Others – The little things in life become enjoyable when we share them with others. Our purpose is achieved when, through sharing, we help others achieve their goals.

♥. Connect with Your Inner Self -Understanding of oneself must come from within; we must learn to discover our own power and energy.


In conclusion, the most important thing to remember is to cherish what life has to offer you and find satisfaction within; that is how to be happy. Others cannot do it for us; only we can understand ourselves and what interests us. Find reasons to live in the moment, and appreciate the good things in life as you share them with others.

The Myths of Happiness: What Should Make You Happy, But Doesn’t, What Shouldn’t Make You Happy, But Does, Sonja Lyubomirsky, Penguin, 2014